For the past two years I’ve sporadically had dreams about a child – my child. Granted, I’ve never had a child and never been pregnant. The child of my dreams seems to be a child of my future. That fact alone is strange, as I’m very much undecided as to if I want children and if I had to decide now – would say no.

I’ve dreamed of this future child on different levels. No matter what age I dream her, there is no doubt it is the same child. Last night I was pregnant with her; yes, it’s a girl. Though normally you know not of what your child truly looks while in the womb in a dream state this may not be so. In the case of last night’s dream, the baby would press against my stomach, which would momentarily become transparent, allowing me to view my child in full effect. What a beautiful child she was – a tiny version of the girl I’d seen at age five and two, with slightly curly, black hair, a bright cupid’s bow mouth and enormous dark eyes that seem to see things as most do not. Even in the womb it was easy to know the child, just as when I dreamed she was two and running across a field towards me or at age five when she told me she loved me as we did the laundry.

In only one dream has the girl had a name – in the age of five dream. I called her Ayla, which has always been my top name for a female child. The name is perfect for this dream girl as it means strong oak and even in dreams, the child exudes a strength that is unparalleled.

Why do I dream of this child that I will seemingly never have? Why do I dream of a child with pitch black hair and dark eyes when my hair is a dark blonde and my eyes a clear gray? Why is it only my daughter and me? There is never a father in the dreams though it is always apparent that I gave birth to her and that she was not adopted.

These dreams are as real as they are surreal – an intriguing combination certainly, though disconcerting and thought provoking. Upon waking from a dream I am overwhelmed with a sense of loss – knowing that it was just a dream and that I cannot reach for this child. While in the dream, I feel an exorbitant amount of love – unlike any I’ve felt in a waking state.

If she is to be my child, I know not, but the thought that she could be makes my heart long for the future, yet, be wary of it as well – just in case she is not meant to be mine.

(c) M/Gatlianne 2005

(Re-post: I wrote this several years ago and thought of it today.)

**The Legion of Peace is taking donations to be able to put together Meal Packs for First Stop Homeless Mission in Huntsville, Alabama. A date will be scheduled in December to meet and put together the meal packs. We will be taking donations until then. If you would like to help please contact me here or at gatlianne@yahoo.com – Love & Light, M**

Meal Packs and Health Kits
for Homeless Individuals

Meal Packs
Pack into a zippered plastic bag:
1 small can of meat (e.g., Vienna sausage, potted meat, beanie weenies)
1 package of pre-wrapped peanut butter crackers
1 package of pre-wrapped cookies
1 – 6 oz. can or box of juice
Napkin or paper towel

Optional:

* 1 package of cheese that does not require refrigeration
* Fruit cup
* Anything else that would add variety!

Please be sure that all containers can be opened without a can opener, and be sure to provide a plastic fork or spoon if it will be needed.

Also needed for the shelter:

Men’s Socks, Gloves & Underwear
Boggin Hats
Tents & Sleeping Bags
Blankets

The last kingdom of man

Is the soul within-

The inner workings of

The heart and the light

Souring toward

And joining with

The collective consciousness

So believe -

Believe in the last kingdom of man

Believe in your soul

Believe in your light

Know you are a part

Of the collective

And soar to join

Your purest self

With the purity of humanity

Coming to an age

Of oneness

© M/Gatlianne 2009

There is paint

Under my fingernails

A product of creativity

In a compounded blend

Of colors that comes out

A dark purple brown

That somewhat mirrors

My mood and thoughts

Regarding the dark unknown

That I see as the same color

© M/Gatlianne 2009

The One only proves he is the one

By being the one

Time takes over

From desire and thought

To prove the truth

The One is the one by want

The One is the one by statement

But only the One that

Withstands

With time

Can truly stake the title claim

To love me through

And in between it all

My split apart soul

Who loves the faults

As much as the perfections

© M/Gatlianne 2009

The last time I was in this hospital ER

Was the night my grandfather died

It is a disconcerting feeling

To have last seen one at the end of life

And now with one full of life

And in some ways at the beginning

Of a new life

Again…a disconcerting feeling

To be so helpless in both situations

To watch with pain while

One takes a final breath

Or to watch with sympathy

While one withers in pain

Trying to take a breath of

New beginnings

Both situations torment

To the heart

As the soul reaches out with love

© M/Gatlianne 2009

On my way to an enrollment meeting Sunday I saw a flock of birds that moved beautifully and wonderfully in sync. We’ve all seen such flocks but there was something different about this one. The unity was much more pronounced and at intervals the entire flock would pulse. It was as though the individual birds came together to form this amazing other entity that had its own life force, its own breathe – its own pulse – a pulse of oneness you might say. A term used by Patricia Byrne, South Africa, to describe “the kaleidoscope of life and many hearts beating together .“ The bird’s movement as one was a fantastic sight. I was actually a few minutes late to the meeting and I knew when I saw the birds they were why. Or should I say – IT was why?

I was meant to see that flock. I was meant to see the pulse. Just as I was meant to be a part of this Team.

I see and feel that same “pulse of oneness” in our team. I’m already feeling it at leadership meetings. I can’t wait to experience the next team meeting.

We are like those birds – individuals coming together with each light blending to form a heartbeat that carries out into the world. We are that pulse of oneness.

In Gratitude & Love,

M

The clouds look angry

A spot in the sky

Of discontent

No solemn gray

But tortured and swirling

Like a soul with an anxious mind

When worry takes over

And it can be seen all over the body

By an observer who truly cares enough to look

And notice

When the one caught in the turmoil

Cannot see from their blinders

And instead are wrapped in the brewing storm

So take notice!

Help the third eye see what clouded vision cannot

Be the eye instead of the storm

© M/Gatlianne 2009

The Legion is beginning an ongoing drive to collect pop tops from aluminum “coke” cans to donate to the Ronald McDonald House in Birmingham.

If you’d like to help – please set up a collection bin at your work, home, etc. anywhere that these cans are used for the tops to be collected.

All of the pop tabs collected will be delivered to the Ronald McDonald House in Birmingham, AL.

1, 280 pop tabs=1 pound of metal

75 pounds of recycled pop tabs will house a family for one night at the Ronald McDonald House

525 pounds of pop tabs takes care of a family for a week

Legion member Courtney has brought a fantastic cause to my attention. Please view Courtney’s blog:

“Hi all!!

Hospice Family Care in Huntsville needs help. They are needing donations of sippy cups.. yes, children’s sippy cups for their patients.

This is a cause near and very dear to my heart, as my grandmother Bobbie had Hospice care the last 3 weeks of her life. It was a scary and sad time for me and my family. My grandmother was my very best friend.

So.. if you’d like to be a part of the “Sippy Cup Project” PLEASE let me know!! They will be going to terminally ill patients in the area. – Courtney “

My grandmother was also cared for by an amazing Hospice member during her last weeks so I too understand Courtney’s want to help.

Other things they could use are:

BLANK JOURNALS
BOOKS/CROSS-WORD PUZZLES/UP TO DATE MAGAZINES
PERSONAL CARE ITEMS
SOCKS
PAJAMA PANTS (MEN AND WOMEN)
ETC.

Can you help?
Are you willing?

Please let us know.

Thank you and Love & Light -

M

gatlianne@yahoo.com
myspace.com/gatlianne
FB: Marianne Gatlin
FB: Gatlianne

www.legionofpeace.com